Yoga & Meditation Teacher (RYT 200), Amateur Cyclist, and Clergy



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Let's say somebody had a lifelong friendship with somebody and they loved each other. Let's say one of the friends died before the other did. Based on your definition of love, which is free of attachment because we should only depend on ourselves to make ourselves happy, do you think the living friend would remorse the death of their loved one? Would you consider it love if the living friend did? Is it wrong to remorse when you lose something?


It is completely human and natural to feel a great deal of remorse for losing a loved one. Having feelings isn’t a weakness to rid ourselves of. The object is to cultivate loving awareness not to strip ourselves of all emotion and intimacy.

I think if you cultivate loving awareness, it does help us to grieve differently and hopefully in a more healthy way. We don’t intensify our grief by letting it cripple us and stop us from living or use it as an excuse to resort to destructive behavior.

Rather we can reflect meaningfully on our time with our loved one and allow gratitude to arise within us along side of our pain and loss.  We can also realize that we will also grow old, become sick, and die. We can learn from the experience of our loved one how to face that time with dignity, patience, and kindness toward ourselves and others.

Somewhere this very moment, babies are born, fathers are dying, mothers are grieving. Yet, pervading all is a groundless awareness, delicate and strong at the same time. Everything becomes we, a beating heart with a transparent, radiant smile.

Judith Simmer-Brown

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart (via creativedreadhead)

(via creativedreadhead-deactivated20)

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