inHabitude

Yoga Teacher, Amateur Cyclist, and Clergy

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My Yoga Practice

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"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. 
Do not let the pain make you hate. 
Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. 
Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, 
you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

Kurt Vonnegut

(Quote via simplyreneeb)

(via )

When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help.

Thich Nhat Hanh  (via a-place-to-stand)

(via mindbodylove)

Set yourself free

In response to a question about being hurt by someone you trusted:

If you put a wall up, you will keep people out, but you will also lock yourself in. That sounds an awful lot like prison to me. Set yourself completely free.

No one can offend you without your consent. We choose to be offended and hurt. That doesn’t justify what others do, but it takes responsibility for how we feel about it and what we do next. Someone let you down and betrayed your confidence. Maybe your expectations were too high, maybe their character was too low. In any case there’s no use in causing yourself additional suffering by building up an ego that needs to feel hurt and pushing other people away. Choose differently.

May you be happy _/|\_

Its going to keep hurting, until you realize that there are places in the human heart created only by, and for, God.

Yasmin Mogahed

(via emotional-algebra)

(via parkstepp)

How to deal with old wounds & the pain

What should I do when old wounds appear? How can I cope with the pain? I’m afraid my emotions will burst out. (Anonymous asked)

Thich Nhat Hahn says that compassion is like having a sore spot in us. We are aware of it and treat it tenderly. Old wounds are like that also. They become opportunities to extend compassion to ourselves. Buddha says that, “You, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and respect.” 

See the pain inside you. Acknoweledge it. Thich Nhat Hahn says that we should handle our painful emotions the way you would hold a newborn baby, gently. You don’t have to act on them, run from them, or get rid of them immediately. Just breathe, acknowledge that you are hurting and name it. Give yourself permission to feel the way you do and just be present. Practice extending metta (loving-kindness) to yourself, your loved ones, strangers, and as you can, to those who hurt you. Remember that hurting people hurt people. Imagine what wounds they must also carry inside themselves to cause them to hurt others. It does not excuse their actions, but it helps us to see them differently and eventually with compassion.

The next time you have these painful emotions arise, take just a moment to breathe and acknowledge them. Perhaps last time they arrived you instantly panicked or reacted in fear, anger, or aversion. In that moment that you pause, realize that this time you have the power to choose differently. You can experience your feelings and emotions but not allow them to control you and wreak havoc in other areas of your life.

I wish you well. May you be happy. May you be at peace. May you be whole. May you live with ease.

Namaste

Overcoming Outbursts of Anger from Others

In response to a question about how to cope with painful feelings after witnessing an explosion of anger and verbal insults on others…

Whenever something traumatic happens to us, especially in a negatively charged situation, it’s like we absorb that energy. The more intense the exchange the longer it seems to linger inside us before it dissipates. It’s worse when we have no outlet for that energy to be released, whether through tears, screaming, talking, praying, or meditating. To suppress it doesn’t make it go away. You only keep it under pressure, which makes it more volatile and likely to unleashed on some unsuspecting soul who said something wrong to you on the bus in the morning. 

Something hurtful happened in your presence. You may feel victimized, or you may feel guilty for not stopping it. Sit with your feelings and see them for what they are. Don’t push them away. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. Just be with them. Allow yourself to feel them. What do you feel? Why do you think you feel this way? Be gentle with yourself. Hold your feelings like you would hold a newborn baby, carefully. But realize that you are not your feelings. They are not who you are. They do not define you. You experience them because you are human. That is not a defect, but they are not your identity. 
Think about the person who unleashed their rage and anger on everyone. Rather than be angry or judgmental of them, imagine what kind of pain they must have been feeling or must have experienced in their life to cause them to lash out at others in such a way. No, it doesn’t excuse their behavior, but remember “hurting people hurt people.” You can choose to take your confusion, frustration, and anger out on others to continue the cycle of rage, or you can choose to love, to forgive, and to let go. The Buddha said that no one in the entire universe is as deserving of your love and acceptance as much as yourself. Begin with yourself. 
  • Practice loving-kindness meditation first for yourself. “May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.”
  • Then for a loved one, “May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.”
  • Then for someone who has received good news or good fortune. Be happy for them and wish them well, “May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.”
  • Think of someone you know who is suffering or hurting and wish them well also, “May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.”
  • Then finally, think of this person who is upsetting you and wish them well with your full intention behind it, “May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.”
It may be awkward or difficult at first but push through it. Then do it tomorrow. Then the next day and the next and so on. See how you feel in a week. Walk slowly, pausing often, be gentle.
I wish you well.

nebali:

Si alejamos nuestros sentimientos o emociones fuertes, usualmente éstos regresan con más fuerza y de una manera más problemática. Es imposible no sentir algunas cosas. Es parte de lo que nos hace humanos. No está mal sentirse enojado cuando tú o tus seres queridos son lastimados. No reprimas lo que sientes.

El perdón no significa que lo que la otra persona hizo está bien. No significa que fue algo sin importancia. No significa que no debamos sentirnos legítimamente molestos por eso. PERDÓN significa que a pesar de que tienes todo el derecho de estar molesto, TÚ escogiste olvidar y continuar con tu vida. Tú eres quien controla y le da poder al acto de perdonar. Una víctima no tiene control, pero tú no eres una víctima, sino el resultado de tus sentimientos acerca de lo que pasó.

Al perdonar tú escoges la dirección que tu vida tomará. Separas tu identidad del evento negativo. Cuando estés listo, escoge perdonar —Si no estás listo, está bien. No es tu momento—.  

Sé amable contigo.

Tú, junto con cualquier otro en el universo, mereces tu amor y respeto -Buda.

vía Words Less Spoken (http://wordslessspoken.org/).


Translated by nebali. Thank you, friend!

I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.

Elie Wiesel

(via thefreenomad)

Only compassion for our own and others suffering can make us come out of the cocoon of thinking our pain is the only pain.

@dzigarkongtrul (via Twitter)

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

Mother Teresa (via peaceisgrey)

(via creativedreadhead-deactivated20)

Look at the past and smile.. take the lessons and continue to move forward and grow. We’ve all been hurt. We were all young. Forgive.

Justine Giles (via peacefulperspective)

(via peacefulperspective-deactivated)

I have found the great paradox, that when you love until it hurts there can be no more hurt. Only more love.

Mother Theresa (via aphotographicprotest)

(via acynicmeetshope)

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